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Baby please don't go.

If I wake up tomorrow, will you still be here?

I don't know if you feel the way I do.

If you leave, I'm gonna find you.

Don't go. :(

Hello 2013!

Goodbye 2012! Hello 2013!

Time sure flies. For this year, I have so much in line, and I hope it will all go according to my plan. I have one prayer that is still unanswered but I know God has better plans for "it". Last year, I prayed for one specific thing (which I will not mention here! Hehe.) Although it was too bad it did not happen in 2012, I know that it was not yet the time for "it". This year, as the clock struck 12, I wished and prayed for the same thing. And if God permits, it will happen. Grabe, araw-araw yun ang nasa imagination ko! Hahaha. Anyway, I hope this year will be a good year for me, my friends, and my family.

Lots of love. xoxo

PAIN

There is pain inside me. A pain which I always carry. Every time I see you, I get this pain. Every word you say, even though it was not intended for me, I get pain. THIS IS LIFE. I hurt you before, now it's your turn to hurt me. I will have to wait. Wait 'till it stops. :(

A Not-So-Secret Affair

Seven o'clock to five o'clock is our school schedule during Wednesdays. But hey, first day of the second semester and our professors were not interested to meet us. Oh, no, one professor showed up and just checked our papers then that's it! So at 11 o'clock our whole schedule was done. "Now what?" was the question that ran through our heads. Instead of going home, some of my friends and I opted to watch a movie entitled "A Secret Affair", and yeah! --- from its title you'd know that it's about an affair. Though I was not in the mood to watch, because of severeeeee headache, I came 'cause it will make my friends "tampo to the nth level" if I won't, and of course I don't want to feel so out-of-place when they talk about the movie. Duh?! :)

Tahdah! Here it is. I must admit that I watched it mainly because I saw the movie trailer on television and Rafi's (Anne Curtis) lines are so "palong-palo!" Talk about bitchiness with extra class.

• "Bakit hindi ka mag-kape girl. Next time you get a triple shot para kabahan ka naman. Alam mo kung sa'n masarap mag-kape? Sa burol mo."
• After slapping Sam (Andi Eigenmann) "Ang sakit ha? Ang tigas talaga ng mukha mo!"
• “Ano bang tingin mo sa mga lalaki? Bulate? May pa-early bird promo, early bird catches the worm?”

"And that's all I can remember." :)

After the movie, I went straight home. And BTW, I got sick the day after that. Pssshhh! :)

Is it?

Is this a sign that I should just give you up? I am not stupid. I know it. I know what just happened. And hey, I was hurt. You can tell me to stop doing something if you do not like it. Here I am, patiently waiting. I am waiting even though you did not tell me to. It's my fault, I know! I keep my hopes up. And with that, I'll stop right here. From this moment on, you will hear nothing from me. And no, I don't feel "bitter". It's just how it is. I want to forget everything. So that when I face you, I can be that bright lady again.

This'll be my last post about you. Whether I keep my feelings or not, no one will know.

Almost

Can you tell me, how can one miss what she never had?How could I reminisce when there is no past?How could I have memories of being happy with you, boy?Can someone tell me how can this be?

How could my mind pull up incidentsRecall dates and times that never happened?How could we celebrate love that’s too lateAnd how could I really mean the words I’m about to say?

I miss the times that we almost sharedI miss the love that was almost thereI miss the times that we used to kissAt least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never hadWhat happened to us, we were almost thereWhoever said it's impossible to missWhen you never had, never almost had you.
For you. 'Coz I never really had you, and yet, here I am......Waiting on my own. ------

Hi Baby!

It's my facebook cover photo ---- TOP in the house y'all. :)

Got this photo from somewhere. He looks absolutely stunning in this photo so I decided to make it my cover photo, with a little text on the left side, "Hi Baby! *kiss mark!*" Hahahaha. I'm a fan of him, and his group BIG BANG. They are going to have their concert this October. Too bad, I do not have enough money to come and watch! Grrrr. I need xx,000 pesos! I do not have boyfie so I think it's okay if I post something like this! :)

I Should Never

I should never visit your facebook wall again.

I should never look at you again.

I should never dream of you again.

I should never love you again.

Because every time I do, I only feel the pain. </3

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I MISS YOU SO MUCH

'Coz I am waiting on my own

HEY, YOU! I MISS YOU.

Do you ever think about me?

Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?

In the middle of the night when you're awake,

are you calling out my name?

Do you ever reminisce?

I can't believe I'm acting like this.

I know it's crazy. How I still can feel your kiss.

It's been ___ months, ___ days, ___ hours, since you went away.

I miss you so much and I don't know what to say.

I should be over you, but it's just not the case.

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours, since you went away.

Do you ever ask about me?

Do your friends still tell you what to do?

Every time the phone rings, do you wish it was me calling you? Do you still feel the same?

Or has time put out the flame. I miss you. Is everything okay?

Those in bold are words I want to say (to you, of course!). But I just can't. :(

I wish I have the guts to say it.

Goodnight.

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Regret

credits to the owner

Today probably is the worst day in my entire existence. (Okay! That's exaggeration.) No, but seriously, it is one of the worst. I made a huge mistake which made one of my mentor to lose trust in me. I made a name, a good name. A good reputation, and all of it vanished into thin air. This mistake will probably leave a deep scar, not only in my heart but also in my head. This may change the way my life turns. But that's how it is. It's a consequence of what I did. Whatever the consequence will be, I will keep it, and learn from it. But I am still hoping that it will not be as bad as I imagine. Now, I believe in the Filipino saying: "Nasa huli ang pag-si-sisi." 

To everyone who had been hurt: The word "sorry" is not enough, but I still want to apologize for all the aches that my action did to all of you.

To that mentor: I am ashamed of what I did. I was careless. Whatever your decision may be, I will take it as a good experience. An experience which taught me a lot, an experience that will help me to become a better person in the future. I do not promise this, but I want to tell you that I will not do anything like that again, not only to you, but also to my future and present mentors. I am sorry! :(

'Till here! :( </3

Power of Stress

Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week is just not enough. Not enough to finish all things that should be done. Feasibility Study, Operations Management documentary, Plight research, movie making, tons of quizzes, reports etc. *deep breaths* These are all tasks given to us by our professors.

FEASIBILITY STUDY. Others would do thesis but not Management Accounting students. We do FS or feasibility study. As we are in business section, we create new and innovative products to sell in the market. After which, we try to do research about the product. Two hundred pages of work should be done in such a short time. The most difficult part of the feasibility study is the financial chapter. One wrong type in your numbers might cause you a liter of blood, and an ocean of tears. *Hell yeah!* I gave two liters of blood, and bucketful of tears. Misunderstandings and arguments aroused during the "making" of this paper. But I am happy that I was able to express my feelings, and able to confront other people about what happened. They may hate the way I acted, but that's just how it is.

Overnight @ Laura's Pad

my groupmates

After series of arguments and drama, we were able to pass the oral defense. Yay! :)

Come to think of it! Because of this paper, I found out who my friends are. I found out who will leave me hanging in the bridge and who will not. Even though it stressed me a lot, I am still thankful. Thankful that I was able to find a gold in a trash. Hihihihi.

One talented rapper

Ryu Hwayoung. April 22,1993

A pretty face with a pretty voice.

I don't know but I really like her voice. She's a former member of a Korean girl group. Now, she's on hiatus. Her face really resembles Park Shin Hye's. <3  Here's rap she's working on. :)

Peek-a-boo!

Our graduation pictorial was held last August 24, 2012. While I was suffering from German measles, the class president told me that we were scheduled to have the pictorial that day. Left with no choice, I decided to have the pictorial. I talked to the editor. I asked her if she can edit the measles on my arms and legs. She said she can do it, and not to worry because the lighting will lessen the measles that I have on the picture. We were standing outside the room for two hours. When my name was called I felt glad that it will soon be finished. I wasn't really in the mood, because I was running a fever. Make-up and hairdo then the outfit. The dressing room annoyed me because it was small. Ten girls were inside. I cannot even move an arm because of the space. We had five outfits to wear: the black gown (toga), casual attire, corporate attire, Filipiniana, and the creative outfit. I do not want to reminisce how bothersome the changing of outfits were. So here are some pictures from the said pictorial.

Black toga. With yellow accent.
The color of my college.

Filipiniana attire. Red for love and pain that I experienced
during my years in college.

My casual attire. It's blue on blue. (Aqua)
'Coz I love the sea. :)

This outfit is big on me. My corporate attire.

For my creative shot, I chose the cowgirl outfit.

So there. The unofficial photos from graduation. :)

Last of August

I want to let you go. But each time I try, my heart is breaking into pieces.

Marry someone quickly. So I'd know that there's really no hope between you and I.

I know it's my greed. But I'm sorry. Seems like I cannot forget you even if you get married.

Do not think about me. I won't let you see me shed a tear. I wish I was born earlier.

If I was, will you look at me? If I was, will you love me? If I was, will you take me seriously?

You and I should have met sooner. I will always stare at you from afar, and hope that you're doing well.

I will bid my farewell. Because this is the last of August.

Scared

I'm so scared. I have never been this scared in my 19 years of existence. But one thing's for sure, God won't let me down. God will always be by my side. He knows what to do. I put my faith in Him. <3

Sweet Tooth

A sinful thing it may be. But I just can't resist sweets. My family (paternal) has diabetes history. Which is why my mom would always tell me and my brother to back off from sweets. A little will do, but not too much. But what is too much really? Hahaha. Anyway, I always have this sweet tooth. Whenever I feel lonely or sad, a piece of chocolate can cheer me up. A lollipop can brighten my day. A sip of my favorite smoothie can take all my stress away.

Christmas is my favorite season. Not only because we are celebrating Jesus's birthday, and my dad's birthday. But also, these lollipops can be seen EVERYWHERE! From supermarkets to streets down to the darkest alleys of our town. Hahaha. Which makes me a happy kiddo. I literally bought fifty pieces of these when I was in high school. And finished them all in forty-eight hours. Gawd!

Pink cotton candies with lots of powdered milk? Oh God, I can't resist. During sportsfest, in the university I am attending, lots of food can be seen. But I only have my eyes on the cotton candy cart. I ate hundred pesos worth of these, which made me ill the next day. Eating so much cotton candy hurt my throat. Thus, I wasn't able to attend and enjoy the whole celebration of our fest.

So, as I was saying, a smoothie can take all your stress away. I love berries, be it raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, or cranberries. But since I live in a hot country, it's hard to find these type of berries. If someone goes abroad or out-of-town, where these berries are available, I would threaten them to buy me fresh ones.  Hahaha, kidding! A famous fastfood chain sells smoothies and they're available in strawberry-banana-yogurt flavor! It's fine if I don't get to eat a good meal, as long as I have a smoothie on the side, my meal is COMPLETE!

Drooling while typing. Hahaha :)

And last, but definitely not the least: CHOCOLATES. My parents, who worked overseas, always have chocolates in their packages. That is why I am a chubby woman. I ate so much sweets that it made me chubby. LOL! Cadbury Chocettes and Mars are my fave. I also eat other brands of chocolates but I prefer these two. One time, I was on a "tantrum mode" when my bestfriend gave me chocolates. My tantrums quickly faded away! Hahaha. My bestfriend knows what to do with me!

It's the middle of the night, and I am drooling as I type words. Looks like my purse will cry tomorrow! If you know what I mean! :) I don't know what to update my blog with, so I decided to just update random things about myself. :)

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PICTURES USED: CREDITS TO RESPECTIVE OWNERS

Getting Tired

I am not this girl. I never get tired of things. Even if I did, I always look on the brighter side saying, "Ah, I will reap what I sow." Though I get tired of something, I know that later on in life it will benefit me. I study and work at the same time, but I never complain about it.

But something's wrong with me. Right now! As I am typing word after word, I feel tired. Not the usual tiredness. But tiredness of life. I feel like there is something missing and I can't seem to find it. And I am hating myself for feeling this way because I know I shouldn't feel like this. I am blessed with everything and I do not have the slightest right to feel tired.

Maybe I am focusing so much on one side of my life to the point that I forget that there is another side. That other side seems to be shrinking that's why I feel empty. I try to focus on other things but seems like I cannot. Sigh!

That day

There really is a day when I feel really lonely. Craziest part is, I don't even know why I am lonely. WEIRDO! What now? Hmmmm.. :(

Love Wisely

Even with love, be wise!

So I was watching a Korean reality show last night. A K-pop artist that I like is reading a book, and her roommate asked her what is she reading. She said it is a book about loving wisely. She then narrated what she read so far. The show ran for about 25 minutes with her just talking about the book. A phrase she said caught my attention, "It is easy to love with your heart, but it will be very hard to love with your brain." Which I think is true. People, not all but in general, use their hearts in love. Rarely you see people who use their brains to love. First off, it is not the heart which causes ourselves to love, it is actually the brain. A hormone-producing gland in our brain called hypothalamus is the one responsible for the feelings that we feel for an opposite sex. Technically speaking it is wrong to say "I love you with all my heart." instead people should say "I love you with all my hypothalamus." 

Things were enumerated by my favorite artist. But I will just give tongue to one. Imagine the overall standards of your husband. Give examples of a good and a bad husband. Simple right? Now, you don't have to list down hundreds of things you like or you don't like, or you want or you don't want.

Example of a good husband:

• He is well-mannered and has positive values.
• He is someone who is willing to give in his all to fulfill his dreams.
• He is pro-active but conserved at the same time.
• He is like a friend who listens and approaches you all the time.
• He is sincere and is grateful about everything.
• He values family, and puts God in the center of his life.

Example of a bad husband:

• He is ill-mannered and has negative values.
• He lacks confidence.
• He does not value his family. (I don't want to live with someone who doesn't love his family. I love my family so much, that is why I think he should also value and love his.)
• He has no GOD. (No God means no life.)

There may still be things that you want to add, it is up to you.

I know the person who I want to be with the rest of my life is on the good side. I know he is. I know you are!

Let's get high

BUNGEE JUMPING. Woohoo! I would be on top of the world if I ever experienced bungee jumping. I so want to try bungee jumping. I am an adventurous type of girl. I love things like jumping off a thousand feet tower. My friends get cold feet whenever we have topics like this. I would say,  "Oh! I want to try bungee jumping." Then they would be like, "WTF! Go by yourself!" Things like that. Majority of my friends are acrophobic. They do not like high places. Once, we were from a friend's birthday party. And because we went home a little late we had to detour a little bit. The road that we took was a little scary. We had to passed by drunk men, and dark alleys. We also passed by a bridge beside NLEX (North Luzon Expressway). I do not know how to explain the feeling that I had at that time. The bridge was really scary because it was rusty. I was afraid that if I stomp on the bridge too strong the bridge will fall off. It was pretty high and the river was beneath it. My friends were all scared at that time. I was too, but not because of the heights, it's because of the rusty bridge. So much for the story. Let's get into business, shall we?

The very famous Macau Tower

If I'm not mistaken this is where America's Next Top Model shot one of the challenges where models must pose with the harness on and stuffs. Jumping from a thousand-feet-tall tower won't make me a scared stiff. I imagine myself falling from that tower. It's like releasing every anger in me. All the pain. All the sorrow. It would be great if we jump together. Of course, I am not trying to kill myself. Duh! I have never heard of someone dying because of bungee jumping.

How I wish I can go there right now with you. I miss you. xo

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PICTURES USED: CREDITS TO RESPECTIVE OWNER/S